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Investigators Confirm Jon Gosselin’s Tiny Penis By Verifying Asian Roots

It’s official. Jon Gosselin has a child like penis. Investigators looked not further than his birth certificate to verify what most of us had been suspecting. Jon Gosselin is an Asian. Asian women are best known for their slanting vaginas but Asian men are known for their very tiny tallywhackers. “I thought he might be Asian…I mean…his kids kinda look Asian too. It’s really weird to think they might be bigger than their worthless Dad.” say Billy Davis, whose wife Beverly still forces him to watch Kate Plus 8. Hailey Glassman says Jon’s penis is 3 inches and is the reason he probably liked to “rove to rick her vagina.”

The cigarette Jon Gosselin is smoking is probably bigger than his tiny penis.

Hailey says Jon Gosselin "roved to rick her vagina."

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